Compassion (Part 1)

“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.” -- Dalai Lama

I like this saying by the Dalai Lama because it is so true. Even if it wasn’t true it seems we need more compassion in our world, and why would we want to be happy without being compassionate to others?

In my various training, I’ve realized there is a misunderstanding and sometimes a kind of fear or resistance to being compassionate. I have been asked many times, “Does being compassionate mean taking responsibility for others, to literally feel the same as they do?”

Of course, it doesn’t. Just imagine what would happen in any consulting work (consultants, medical doctors etc.) if we felt so much compassion for our client that we cried together, or agreed with them so much that we also blamed their partners, bosses etc.

So let’s clarify first what compassion means according to Wikipedia: “Compassion is a virtue — one in which the emotional capacities of empathy and sympathy (for the suffering of others) are regarded as a part of love itself, and a cornerstone of greater social interconnection and humanism — foundational to the highest principles in philosophy, society, and personhood.”

For me, compassion is empathy in every act.

We can be compassionate without taking responsibility for others’ feelings or even agreeing with them. What’s more, the more we can be an emphatically compassionate observer, the more we can do to help others.


To feel the same as the other person may mean we are energetically very connected to the issue, so we may be running the same, or similar, programs as them. We can understand easily that if we are running programs (feeling hurt for example) we can’t help in such a clear way as we would without programs. Or, in other words, we can’t help anybody out of the pit by jumping into it. We can only give a hand if we are outside.

So what then does compassion mean in practice? How can we practice compassion in our daily life? It is easy to say we are accepting and without judgment but not so easy to do. Actually, the more compassionate we are, the less we judge and the more we judge, the less compassionate we are.

When we practice compassion it also means we do care about others. When we care, we don’t judge them, but instead, we practice empathy and sympathy.

A good way we can easily express our compassion for anyone at any time is with words through Conscious (or cooperative, nonviolent) Communication.

Interestingly, we can see that both compassion and communication have their roots in Latin: “com” (Latin “cum”) means “with” or “co.” This root appears in other words in English too: common, community, etc.

We can express our com-passion - feeling with - to others with our communication. The world itself shows us that when we give our attention to someone - when we really listen - we “commune” with them. Or, in other words, we are ONE with each other. We listen carefully or actively.


In communication, this is called active listening which means, “I try to understand (decode) what you tell me (code)”. Trying to understand means to practice empathy and to tell someone what you’ve heard from them; what you’ve understood. This way, unnecessary misunderstandings can be avoided.

Communication issues and challenges often have their roots in assuming that someone knows what the other feels or thinks. Never assume anything - give feedback instead! Having this kind of positive, compassionate conversation can even dissolve (and won’t create) negative energies.


Remember, communication is also energy – the breath of life, comes through us in words and can help to solve our conflicts. Therefore, communication with compassion (and real communication doesn’t exist without compassion) can help to release negative energies.

Compassion helps us to find our heart, our real Self, our Soul. And when we do practice it, we find the real Soul-lutions to any challenge.

Affirmation: I allow myself to be compassionate in every moment with everybody.

With much love,

Erika Laszlo, Creator of Intuyching™ (SuperConscious Self-Coaching™)